Nourish your inner child

Do you ever look at a little baby and think “damn, how is that little tiny shit going to become an grown ass person?” That little tiny body is going to expand and turn into this individual who can either do amazing things or fuck shit up completely. Such an innocent lump, just craving some boob milk and love, with a whole life of unknown in front of it. I don’t look at a baby and think  “Omg that’s a cute baby”, no my thoughts go deep.

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We have all been babies, duuh. We have all been children. We have all been through crazy phases of life experiences, body changes, personality changes, and so much more. At what point do we define the end of being a child? When we reach a certain age? When we get into puberty? When we become x amounts of inches tall? Who, what, and when defines the end of our childhood? Well, at a certain point we have to take care of ourselves, but why does this have to mean that we loose this other part of us that was the true person we were when we entered this world?

I love to look at pictures of myself as a child. Yes, I’m just that into myself. I can’t get enough of this version, so I have to revisit the past and check out that cute little sassy child. No, but I think it’s fascinating. Somewhere along my life, I just turned into the person I am now. You don’t realize these changes until you actually look at yourself. And honestly, I frikkin love that little child-me that I see when I look at the photos. She was such a go-getter, bubbly, sassy, creative, she was just such a bad ass!

Self love is something that gets lost in the process of growing up. We become hard on ourselves and put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Something that’s so amazing about looking back at old photos is that you see yourself living care free and full of joy. You did you, and that was it. There was never something that made you doubt in yourself, because you just never had the time to think about stupid shit like that. If you had ideas, you made them happen. You played, you laughed, you cried, and you did it whenever and wherever.

When you judge yourself, doubt yourself, or look down on yourself I want you to take a look at a photo of yourself as a child. A photo that you really like and that brings joy to you. Look at this child, would you ever want something bad to happen to it? Would you ever want someone to harm or hurt it? No, right? So why are you hurting and harming yourself with toxic thoughts and actions? Take care of this child. Nourish it, help it to become the best it can be – Nourish you, and help you to become the best it can be. Just as your future self one day will look back at this version of you, and take care of you.

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The balls of life

Hitting walls and falling right down the ditch. Curve balls, and all other kinds of hard nasty balls are coming at you at all directions and you just can’t avoid them. Splashing up all over your face, and knocking you the fuck out. That’s what balls can do. They’re not as innocent as they look, my friends.

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The “the road to success” picture that shows a line full of twists, turns, and knots is a picture that I think most of us are familiar with. The same picture should be applied to the road of life. Potatoooe, potato, if it’s basically the same thing I’m not sure, but you get what I’m coming at.

Life throws balls at us all the time. I guess even life gets bored sometimes, and needs to knock us out with some hard balls once in a while to stay entertained. Yea man, life can sure be a little bitch sometimes.  The choices we make, the people we meet all takes us towards different paths. Sometimes we’re in sync with our lines and roads. We are on top of the world, with all this vibrant energy, knowing we are walking the right road with the wind in our hair and the sun on our face. But, even California experiences rainy days, and so will your life. A rainy day here and there is natural, but sometimes the rain just keeps pouring, and all of a sudden we have thunder and lightning, and snow storms, and a frikkin ice age all around us. Nothing makes sense anymore, and our joyful road has turned into a long, dark, bumpy, shit of an experience, and if we don’t watch ourselves it might takes us straight down a cliff.

“We need to die a little to learn how to live”. We do. Hurting is an essential part of life, but hurt becomes dangerous when we never stop to reflect on the pain, and let it take over our lives.

Comfort – Comfort is one of the greatest killers of all time. Okay, a knife and a gun are pretty extreme as well, but when it comes to self destruction, comfort definitely is on top of the list. The feeling of being can a lot of times be because of comfort. We can feel fear to make a new move, or to  change our job, or do something completely out of our comfort zone. “Life happens at the end of our comfort zone”. We hear this all the time, but yet it can be so hard to make the leap and create a new reality. Start small by doing activities that you’ve always wanted to do, but are afraid not to. Go sing karaoke, go skydiving, prepare a speech, put on a full blown dance show in the middle of the street, cut off all your hair. Do something crazy you’ve always wanted to do (nothing illegal though! Young homies, don’t get it twisted!!).

When you start to do small things to challenges yourself it can be easier to change the bigger things about your life.

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Not pleasing yourself – If you don’t love something, leave it, don’t stick around because of the hype everyone else has over it. Don’t believe illusions. Sometime people will tell you that you need to be doing certain things because it’s what they feel is the best for them. From your perspective, and for your life it might not be at all anything like what you’re supposed to be doing. Nobody can tell you what’s right and wrong for you, better than yourself.

Shake up your routine – Sometimes it doesn’t need to be big major life decisions that are bringing us down. It can be the simple fact of feeling that you’re stuck in a boring routine. Honestly, most of us will feel like this at some parts (or plenty of parts) of our lives. You can change this simply by shaking up your routine like a deluxe milkshake with extra extra errthaang!!! Have a spontaneous dinner party in the middle of the week, change the route you take to work, try a new café to get your morning coffee. Shaking things up will make you see new things, meet new people, and just have completely new experiences and interactions in a small, yet very effective way.

Stop hearing what you want to hear – We tend to lean on our friends and family for support when it comes to talking about what we feel, and the things we are going through. This is great! But it isn’t great when the people you choose to talk to tell you exactly what you want to hear, opposed to the things you need to hear. Don’t put your problems in the hands of “word pleasers”. You need people who will give you the straight up, raw advice. It might sting to hear things you don’t want to hear, especially in a time of weakness, but it’s necessary if you want to pull yourself out of the dumpster.

Write that shit down – Journaling is always such a magic way to figure shit out. By writing down everything you’re going through it will be easier to figure out what you need to do, to get on the right path. Maybe you’re realizing that you have to switch the direction completely! When you know what to do, it is so much easier to take the action needed.

Life, this crazy thing we just happened to end up in is a mysterious place. We have no idea what the fuck it really is, and somehow we are forced to figure it out. Life can be hard and it can smack us across the face plenty of times, and boy, it sure does! But it’s because of these smacks we can appreciate how truly beautiful it is to be alive. YOU are alive on this earth right now. Dude, that’s freaking amazing! You will never be alive on this earth in the shape or form you are now, who knows if you’ll ever be alive on this earth ever again!? The beauty of you and your life is a unique little thing that won’t ever happen again. So despite balls in your face, you have to live your best life, being the greatest you there will ever be! Make life proud, and grab it back by its balls!

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I'm a jealous know it all

Loud, annoying, bragging douches, know it all’s, narcissistic, mean – These are just a few traits we categorize as negative.

We can all fit ourselves into someones annoying list, even though we don’t want to admit it. That we have some bad traits and flaws here and there, we can accept. But no one really wants to see the worst of the worst in ourselves. We are perfect, it’s usually other people who’ve got shit twisted. Pointing the finger at other peoples flaws are easy, but how easy can we turn that finger around and point it at ourselves?

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So, first of all, here I am writing a list about acknowledging your negatives. Why, woman, why?! In a world where we are pushing positivity to the maxed out level, here I come and tell you to think about what makes you suck. Well, to strengthen your positives you need to be aware of your negatives. Let’s make it clear that we are not talking about your appearance!! We are focusing on our personality traits.

Our reactions to everything around us is something we do unconsciously. We get mad at other cars in traffic, we get mad when a person is taking forever at the check out at Trader Joe’s, we get jealous when we see someone we feel is more successful or beautiful than we are. These are things we “just do”. And I want you to know when you do it, and why you do it.

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I love to be right, and hate to be wrong (duh). I’m a terrible loser (even thought I’ve learned to hide it pretty well over the years). I can be jealous, I don’t open up about emotions easy, I can zone out very often. Not sure if zoning out is such bad of a trait, I guess it depends on the situation. These are just a few traits that I know I have. How other people see me, I might not even know.

Let your friends roast you – You need to get roosted, hard and crispy over an open flame and feel the burn. Okay, not really, but have your friends and family, whoever you truly trust and you know will be honest, tell you about your negative traits. What do you do that makes them sad, angry, pissed off, feeling taken for granted?

Why do you do them – If you want to go deep into why you behave this way, you can pull out a pen and a paper, and write down all the negative traits of your family and friends. We get effected by the world around us, and our upbringing might hold the answer to where your bad traits developed from. Identify the root of the problem and become aware of it. Let’s say you have a hard time opening up to people, and can be perceived as distant or cold. Maybe, you didn’t get that much word love from your parents? Break the inherited chain of bad habits!

Slap your hand when it reaches for the cookie jar – Track your shit! Write down every time you slip up. Track your bad habits in a journal, or in your phone. Whatever works for you. Become aware of them. Own them, not in the sense that they are awesome, but something you want to change. Change only happens when you’ve determined the problem. By writing them down, you will catch yourself red handed, and have you think about what triggered you behavior.

How does it effect others – Bad traits and habits goes beyond you. It usually effects others, and puts the whole “good energy balance” out of order. If the things you are doing are effecting people in a really bad way, you need to make a change. When it goes beyond yourself, you are almost required to do something about the problem.

Make others point at you – Tell the people around you, that every time you do something nasty, they should call you out out it. Bluntly. Have them explain why, and what you did exactly, so you can start seeing the type of scenarios that triggers your habit.

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Perfection, there is no such a thing. Bad days are a thing! And they can effect us, and our decision making. But, if we can do our best to improve the way we react to certain situations, we can create better energies all around us, affecting the world and ourselves for the better.