Longevity is more than a kale salad

We eat our greens, we sip our water and we sweat like a beast in the gym. We look good, we feel good, and on top of that sweet cherry we know that we are improving our health together with our longevity.

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Forever young – We can unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) not stay literally young forever but with the right lifestyle choices we can feel, and let’s be honest, look the part for as long as possible.

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The holy authorities of the health world have always preached a consistent healthy diet, exercise, and some good sleep to stay young and healthy. These are all very important factors in staying fresher than a motherf*ucker, but there’s actually an additional element which we don’t really put that much “health craze” around – our social life.

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In the era of “one man shows” and individualism, a trusted wolf pack is the missing piece of the puzzle for optimal health. I think most of us can relate to the fact that when you spend time with people who make you happy and inspire you, you feel really good. It gives you a sense of belonging. No matter how much of a “lone wolf” you might consider yourself, it’s a basic human need to feel loved and belonged. The lack of this feeling isolates us as tight as a tight ass, and we slowly turn into the feelings of loneliness. We all know that loneliness comes as a package deal together with a bunch of negative psychological illnesses like anxiety and depression.

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Social media – In the era of social media we are actually becoming less social and our real social connections are dropping like it’s hot on the dance floor – meaning that we are loosing them. We create isolation and start to “exist” in a virtual social community instead of actually interacting with people face to face. Don’t get me wrong, social media is amazing when you actually take these new connections and build real intimate friendships. If not, you’ll simply feel more lonely and isolated.

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Drop the text and make a call – Life is hectic and we don’t always have time to meet our friends and family as often as we wish. To check in with a simple “how was your day?” text can go a long way, but what’s better than actually picking up the phone and giving the other person a little hotline bling? A simple phone call has a lot of mood boosting benefits. Why? When we exchange a conversation, even if it’s just over the phone we hear the persons voice, we feel the emotions from the other person in a way a text message really can’t provide.

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Blue zones – Also know as places where people live the longest on the planet. If you happen to live in any of these areas, congratulations young lad! These five places are: Okinawa in Japan, Sardinia in Italy, Ikaria in Greece, Loma Linda in California, and Nicoya in Costa Rica. What these places have in common is first of all mainly a plant based diet and regular movement. The third thing is the value of family and community. They live together in tighter communities, constantly surrounded by one another. If it’s not a spouse, you have other family members or a tight network of friends. You care for other people and you know that you are cared for.

Isolation and habituation – You are a human, surpriiiiise!!! We are creatures who adapt over time to become habituated to whatever environment we are living in for maximum survival. Isolation works the same way. Just as you can build up a habit of regular exercise and clean eating, you can as easily get habituated to your new found isolation. The more lonely you are, the more “used” to the feeling you’ll get and the more comfortable you’ll get with these feelings. After a while, isolation becomes so engraved in you that you’ll start to avoid, almost hate meeting people. This is obviously not a good trait to adapt, but as humans – this is how we work.

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Smash down the isolation wall – Since we habituate so easy it can be hard to break down the wall and start letting people in again. To break this very unhealthy habit you need to approach it the way you’d approach any kind of bad habit – small steps. Challenge yourself to call people, even send text messages to make plans. Be open and honest about the way you’re feeling with someone you trust. By doing this you will realize that people actually do care about you more than you might think.

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Appreciate people – Always appreciate people and make sure to tell them. No matter if it’s a new friendship or a life long connection. Communicate how happy and blessed you are that these people take valuable time out of their lives to spend it with you. Not only will you make them feel more appreciated, but you will also remind yourself how much other people care and appreciate you.

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A ripped six pack doesn’t mean shit to our health if they are the only friends we have. Tight social connections and a community provides just as many vitamins as your kale salad.

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Get out in the world and make some friends!

The balls of life

Hitting walls and falling right down the ditch. Curve balls, and all other kinds of hard nasty balls are coming at you at all directions and you just can’t avoid them. Splashing up all over your face, and knocking you the fuck out. That’s what balls can do. They’re not as innocent as they look, my friends.

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The “the road to success” picture that shows a line full of twists, turns, and knots is a picture that I think most of us are familiar with. The same picture should be applied to the road of life. Potatoooe, potato, if it’s basically the same thing I’m not sure, but you get what I’m coming at.

Life throws balls at us all the time. I guess even life gets bored sometimes, and needs to knock us out with some hard balls once in a while to stay entertained. Yea man, life can sure be a little bitch sometimes.  The choices we make, the people we meet all takes us towards different paths. Sometimes we’re in sync with our lines and roads. We are on top of the world, with all this vibrant energy, knowing we are walking the right road with the wind in our hair and the sun on our face. But, even California experiences rainy days, and so will your life. A rainy day here and there is natural, but sometimes the rain just keeps pouring, and all of a sudden we have thunder and lightning, and snow storms, and a frikkin ice age all around us. Nothing makes sense anymore, and our joyful road has turned into a long, dark, bumpy, shit of an experience, and if we don’t watch ourselves it might takes us straight down a cliff.

“We need to die a little to learn how to live”. We do. Hurting is an essential part of life, but hurt becomes dangerous when we never stop to reflect on the pain, and let it take over our lives.

Comfort – Comfort is one of the greatest killers of all time. Okay, a knife and a gun are pretty extreme as well, but when it comes to self destruction, comfort definitely is on top of the list. The feeling of being can a lot of times be because of comfort. We can feel fear to make a new move, or to  change our job, or do something completely out of our comfort zone. “Life happens at the end of our comfort zone”. We hear this all the time, but yet it can be so hard to make the leap and create a new reality. Start small by doing activities that you’ve always wanted to do, but are afraid not to. Go sing karaoke, go skydiving, prepare a speech, put on a full blown dance show in the middle of the street, cut off all your hair. Do something crazy you’ve always wanted to do (nothing illegal though! Young homies, don’t get it twisted!!).

When you start to do small things to challenges yourself it can be easier to change the bigger things about your life.

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Not pleasing yourself – If you don’t love something, leave it, don’t stick around because of the hype everyone else has over it. Don’t believe illusions. Sometime people will tell you that you need to be doing certain things because it’s what they feel is the best for them. From your perspective, and for your life it might not be at all anything like what you’re supposed to be doing. Nobody can tell you what’s right and wrong for you, better than yourself.

Shake up your routine – Sometimes it doesn’t need to be big major life decisions that are bringing us down. It can be the simple fact of feeling that you’re stuck in a boring routine. Honestly, most of us will feel like this at some parts (or plenty of parts) of our lives. You can change this simply by shaking up your routine like a deluxe milkshake with extra extra errthaang!!! Have a spontaneous dinner party in the middle of the week, change the route you take to work, try a new café to get your morning coffee. Shaking things up will make you see new things, meet new people, and just have completely new experiences and interactions in a small, yet very effective way.

Stop hearing what you want to hear – We tend to lean on our friends and family for support when it comes to talking about what we feel, and the things we are going through. This is great! But it isn’t great when the people you choose to talk to tell you exactly what you want to hear, opposed to the things you need to hear. Don’t put your problems in the hands of “word pleasers”. You need people who will give you the straight up, raw advice. It might sting to hear things you don’t want to hear, especially in a time of weakness, but it’s necessary if you want to pull yourself out of the dumpster.

Write that shit down – Journaling is always such a magic way to figure shit out. By writing down everything you’re going through it will be easier to figure out what you need to do, to get on the right path. Maybe you’re realizing that you have to switch the direction completely! When you know what to do, it is so much easier to take the action needed.

Life, this crazy thing we just happened to end up in is a mysterious place. We have no idea what the fuck it really is, and somehow we are forced to figure it out. Life can be hard and it can smack us across the face plenty of times, and boy, it sure does! But it’s because of these smacks we can appreciate how truly beautiful it is to be alive. YOU are alive on this earth right now. Dude, that’s freaking amazing! You will never be alive on this earth in the shape or form you are now, who knows if you’ll ever be alive on this earth ever again!? The beauty of you and your life is a unique little thing that won’t ever happen again. So despite balls in your face, you have to live your best life, being the greatest you there will ever be! Make life proud, and grab it back by its balls!

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Speak love to me, baby

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more. Please, baby!! Don’t hurt me!!Love. It’s a big word filled with a ton of meanings we don’t fully comprehend. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and it can be shared between lovers, friends, siblings, parents, pets, chocolate cake… I mean love can be everywhere! Some people flung around the L word all over the place, while to other people the word of Love is very sacred.

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Love is a bunch of feelings bundled up in a cute little package. The feelings of happiness, safety, appreciation, care, comfort, security, freedom, kindness, beauty, confidence – basically a shit ton of warm an fuzzy feelings that makes our endorphins go loco cray cray.

Love though, is extremely personal. Even though we all know what it’s about, it means completely different things to different people. My view of Love won’t be the same as the way you view Love. This is where things can get tricky. People get frustrated in relationships when they “don’t get the love they deserve”, when not knowing that the other person actually is showering them with all the love they can possibly give, but in their own specific way. Since our perceptions of Love and sharing it is different, we clash, and things doesn’t work out.

How we perceive Love is how we give it, and there’s actually five specific “Love languages”. The way you value these five different languages, and the ones that are most meaningful to you, are the way you usually give love, and the way you would like to receive it back. This is all happening subconsciously, and to understand the different love languages and how it can help you understand your friend, partner, or whoever when they are giving you love, and you’ll know how to share love back to them.

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The five languages of love

Words of affirmation“Damn girl, that booty is looking tight!”. Okay, maybe not shallow comments like that, but people who value words of affirmation feel love when they hear that their partner appreciates them, is proud over them, loves them, needs them, loves the way they make them feel, things like that. They like to get acknowledged about the things they do that their partner loves, and they like to feel needed and appreciated for who they are, and what they do.

Acts of service – You’re coming home one day and your love one have prepared a beautiful dinner for the two of you. Candles on the table, and a glass of wine is welcoming you as you enter the door. People who value acts of service feels loved when they feel taken care off. When someone helps them out in times where they are struggling, or if someone takes time out of their busy schedule to do something for them. The value the feeling of feeling cared for.

Receiving gifts – Pretty self explanatory, right? For people who value the act of receiving gifts, they like to get surprised with flowers, small surprises, and other goodies at random times. Don’t take this as shallowness and people being materialistic. It’s the meaning behind the gifts that makes them feel loved and special. Someone they love saw something that made them think of them. A gift can be anything, form jewelry to a cute card to a knitted scarf and homemade brownies. It’s the thought and sincere meaning behind the gift that matters.

Quality time – Drop your phone to the floor, and do the shimmey. Okay no, do not do that, but give your loved one your full attention. This is what quality time really means. Listening to each other, doing fun activities together, try out new things together, and just giving each other their full attention. To take time out of your own life to spend time with a person who values quality time makes them feel loved and appreciated.

Physical touch – Massages, hugs, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, placing a hand on your shoulder, all these touchy feely things is what a person who values physical tough needs to feel loved. It doesn’t need to be in the most sexual of ways, it’s the small placements of an arm around a shoulder, or a spontaneous hug that matters.

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Why is it important to know what love language you value, and which language the people around you value? It’s important because you will understand everyone around you much better. If you’re a person who’s not the biggest fan of physical touch (ME!!!!), and someone starts to hod my hand in public, I would feel weirded out as fuck. Had the person known this, he might’ve not chosen to do that, and by me knowing that that’s the way he likes, and gives love, I would understand that the hand holding is coming from a good place, not a creepy type of situation.

Learn your love language, and start giving and receiving love, and strengthen your relationships with all the people in your life that matter the most.

Take the “Love Quiz” HERE, which helps to figure out which one of these languages you “speak”, and tell everyone you know to take it as well. It’s fun, and who doesn’t like a good quiz anyways?!