Love discomfort

Comfort. Comfort is nice, it rhymes with rice, it is pleasant, it can be cozy, a warm fuzzy feeling. We like comfort, no matter if it’s in the form of “ultra comfort soft toilet paper” or in the form of a a caressing hug from a loved one. Comfort zone is a space which sounds pretty damn awesome, but when applied to life, it can be a war zone for your personal development.

img_2244

“Life starts on the other side of your comfort zone”, “Face your fears”, “Place your bed in the snow to grow” – okay, not a real quote so please don’t do that! It can cause some serious problems, but you’ll definitely be way out of your comfort zone. If you do survive the night you’ll have built up a big dose of discipline.

All quotes aside, we know that we need to push ourselves and do scary things to become a better version of ourselves and to learn. But how do we actually do it!? It’s one thing to know what you need to do, but a totally different ball game to actually get down and do it. It’s even harder when it happens to be something that is completely foreign to you, even harder if it scares the poop out of you!

img_2123

Biology – Comfort zone is straight up biology. As anything that has to do with us humans we can study it and trace it down to our biology. Why do we like comfort? Well obviously because it’s nice and comfy, but back in the survival days the comfort zone was a safe place to be where you were able to relax with no chance of getting killed.

Optimal anxiety –  Optimal anxiety is like melted butter on toast for ourselves. It’s the stress level just beyond our comfort zone. In this zone, we go ham! We perform our best and are able to whip up greatness. Everything optimal can always be pushed a bit further, and this is when we reach complete anxiety and stress. This is not a place we want to be in! When we experience this kind of stress we turn right around to cuddle up in the comfort of our comfort zones.

img_0828

Our zones are not the same size – Every person is different, and so is your level of comfort. You might be able to do things that somebody else have sweaty nightmares about, and the opposite. It’s important to always listen and stay true to yourself when embarking upon a new challenge. If you take on a too big of a challenge too fast, you’ll end up in the blown out anxiety zone and scare yourself to ever challenge yourself again.

Change up your daily routine – Baby steps are still steps. Small changes goes a long way! Change the route you take to work, order something else from your favorite restaurant, go to a new cafe or shop at a different grocery store, do your morning routine in a different order. Small adjustments like these makes you think differently, see new things, explore new things, and make you realize that there’s so many options outside of your little box.

img_9100

Say YES – Say yes to more things. Don’t overthink a decision if it’s not a major one and simply go with it. You’ll either figure out that you hate it or you’ll, most likely realize that you love this new experience and get a new zest for life. The most spontaneous things in life are usually the ones we remember and value for a very longtime. Doing more spontaneous and trying out new things will also make your life feel more meaningful, and put a slight pause on the clock. When we get older, sucked into those routines, we all wish that time could slow down a bit. Am I right, or am I right?

Why should you challenge yourself to push your limits?

Reaching your optimal anxiety once in a while will give you confidence, increase you growth and knowledge, enhance productivity, increase your quality of life, and always make sure you are becoming a better version of yourself.

Leaving the comfort of our nests can be scary, but the gains will be as solid as a shiny, oiled up six-pack of abs! Learn to enjoy the unfamiliar, and remember that your comfort zone will always be there waiting for you with open arms.

 

Nourish your inner child

Do you ever look at a little baby and think “damn, how is that little tiny shit going to become an grown ass person?” That little tiny body is going to expand and turn into this individual who can either do amazing things or fuck shit up completely. Such an innocent lump, just craving some boob milk and love, with a whole life of unknown in front of it. I don’t look at a baby and think  “Omg that’s a cute baby”, no my thoughts go deep.

IMG_9358

We have all been babies, duuh. We have all been children. We have all been through crazy phases of life experiences, body changes, personality changes, and so much more. At what point do we define the end of being a child? When we reach a certain age? When we get into puberty? When we become x amounts of inches tall? Who, what, and when defines the end of our childhood? Well, at a certain point we have to take care of ourselves, but why does this have to mean that we loose this other part of us that was the true person we were when we entered this world?

I love to look at pictures of myself as a child. Yes, I’m just that into myself. I can’t get enough of this version, so I have to revisit the past and check out that cute little sassy child. No, but I think it’s fascinating. Somewhere along my life, I just turned into the person I am now. You don’t realize these changes until you actually look at yourself. And honestly, I frikkin love that little child-me that I see when I look at the photos. She was such a go-getter, bubbly, sassy, creative, she was just such a bad ass!

Self love is something that gets lost in the process of growing up. We become hard on ourselves and put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Something that’s so amazing about looking back at old photos is that you see yourself living care free and full of joy. You did you, and that was it. There was never something that made you doubt in yourself, because you just never had the time to think about stupid shit like that. If you had ideas, you made them happen. You played, you laughed, you cried, and you did it whenever and wherever.

When you judge yourself, doubt yourself, or look down on yourself I want you to take a look at a photo of yourself as a child. A photo that you really like and that brings joy to you. Look at this child, would you ever want something bad to happen to it? Would you ever want someone to harm or hurt it? No, right? So why are you hurting and harming yourself with toxic thoughts and actions? Take care of this child. Nourish it, help it to become the best it can be – Nourish you, and help you to become the best it can be. Just as your future self one day will look back at this version of you, and take care of you.

IMG_9709

I'm a jealous know it all

Loud, annoying, bragging douches, know it all’s, narcissistic, mean – These are just a few traits we categorize as negative.

We can all fit ourselves into someones annoying list, even though we don’t want to admit it. That we have some bad traits and flaws here and there, we can accept. But no one really wants to see the worst of the worst in ourselves. We are perfect, it’s usually other people who’ve got shit twisted. Pointing the finger at other peoples flaws are easy, but how easy can we turn that finger around and point it at ourselves?

IMG_0327

So, first of all, here I am writing a list about acknowledging your negatives. Why, woman, why?! In a world where we are pushing positivity to the maxed out level, here I come and tell you to think about what makes you suck. Well, to strengthen your positives you need to be aware of your negatives. Let’s make it clear that we are not talking about your appearance!! We are focusing on our personality traits.

Our reactions to everything around us is something we do unconsciously. We get mad at other cars in traffic, we get mad when a person is taking forever at the check out at Trader Joe’s, we get jealous when we see someone we feel is more successful or beautiful than we are. These are things we “just do”. And I want you to know when you do it, and why you do it.

vrouwen-elkaar-aanmoedigen

I love to be right, and hate to be wrong (duh). I’m a terrible loser (even thought I’ve learned to hide it pretty well over the years). I can be jealous, I don’t open up about emotions easy, I can zone out very often. Not sure if zoning out is such bad of a trait, I guess it depends on the situation. These are just a few traits that I know I have. How other people see me, I might not even know.

Let your friends roast you – You need to get roosted, hard and crispy over an open flame and feel the burn. Okay, not really, but have your friends and family, whoever you truly trust and you know will be honest, tell you about your negative traits. What do you do that makes them sad, angry, pissed off, feeling taken for granted?

Why do you do them – If you want to go deep into why you behave this way, you can pull out a pen and a paper, and write down all the negative traits of your family and friends. We get effected by the world around us, and our upbringing might hold the answer to where your bad traits developed from. Identify the root of the problem and become aware of it. Let’s say you have a hard time opening up to people, and can be perceived as distant or cold. Maybe, you didn’t get that much word love from your parents? Break the inherited chain of bad habits!

Slap your hand when it reaches for the cookie jar – Track your shit! Write down every time you slip up. Track your bad habits in a journal, or in your phone. Whatever works for you. Become aware of them. Own them, not in the sense that they are awesome, but something you want to change. Change only happens when you’ve determined the problem. By writing them down, you will catch yourself red handed, and have you think about what triggered you behavior.

How does it effect others – Bad traits and habits goes beyond you. It usually effects others, and puts the whole “good energy balance” out of order. If the things you are doing are effecting people in a really bad way, you need to make a change. When it goes beyond yourself, you are almost required to do something about the problem.

Make others point at you – Tell the people around you, that every time you do something nasty, they should call you out out it. Bluntly. Have them explain why, and what you did exactly, so you can start seeing the type of scenarios that triggers your habit.

IMG_3103

Perfection, there is no such a thing. Bad days are a thing! And they can effect us, and our decision making. But, if we can do our best to improve the way we react to certain situations, we can create better energies all around us, affecting the world and ourselves for the better.