Nourish your inner child

Do you ever look at a little baby and think “damn, how is that little tiny shit going to become an grown ass person?” That little tiny body is going to expand and turn into this individual who can either do amazing things or fuck shit up completely. Such an innocent lump, just craving some boob milk and love, with a whole life of unknown in front of it. I don’t look at a baby and think  “Omg that’s a cute baby”, no my thoughts go deep.

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We have all been babies, duuh. We have all been children. We have all been through crazy phases of life experiences, body changes, personality changes, and so much more. At what point do we define the end of being a child? When we reach a certain age? When we get into puberty? When we become x amounts of inches tall? Who, what, and when defines the end of our childhood? Well, at a certain point we have to take care of ourselves, but why does this have to mean that we loose this other part of us that was the true person we were when we entered this world?

I love to look at pictures of myself as a child. Yes, I’m just that into myself. I can’t get enough of this version, so I have to revisit the past and check out that cute little sassy child. No, but I think it’s fascinating. Somewhere along my life, I just turned into the person I am now. You don’t realize these changes until you actually look at yourself. And honestly, I frikkin love that little child-me that I see when I look at the photos. She was such a go-getter, bubbly, sassy, creative, she was just such a bad ass!

Self love is something that gets lost in the process of growing up. We become hard on ourselves and put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Something that’s so amazing about looking back at old photos is that you see yourself living care free and full of joy. You did you, and that was it. There was never something that made you doubt in yourself, because you just never had the time to think about stupid shit like that. If you had ideas, you made them happen. You played, you laughed, you cried, and you did it whenever and wherever.

When you judge yourself, doubt yourself, or look down on yourself I want you to take a look at a photo of yourself as a child. A photo that you really like and that brings joy to you. Look at this child, would you ever want something bad to happen to it? Would you ever want someone to harm or hurt it? No, right? So why are you hurting and harming yourself with toxic thoughts and actions? Take care of this child. Nourish it, help it to become the best it can be – Nourish you, and help you to become the best it can be. Just as your future self one day will look back at this version of you, and take care of you.

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Speak love to me, baby

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more. Please, baby!! Don’t hurt me!!Love. It’s a big word filled with a ton of meanings we don’t fully comprehend. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and it can be shared between lovers, friends, siblings, parents, pets, chocolate cake… I mean love can be everywhere! Some people flung around the L word all over the place, while to other people the word of Love is very sacred.

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Love is a bunch of feelings bundled up in a cute little package. The feelings of happiness, safety, appreciation, care, comfort, security, freedom, kindness, beauty, confidence – basically a shit ton of warm an fuzzy feelings that makes our endorphins go loco cray cray.

Love though, is extremely personal. Even though we all know what it’s about, it means completely different things to different people. My view of Love won’t be the same as the way you view Love. This is where things can get tricky. People get frustrated in relationships when they “don’t get the love they deserve”, when not knowing that the other person actually is showering them with all the love they can possibly give, but in their own specific way. Since our perceptions of Love and sharing it is different, we clash, and things doesn’t work out.

How we perceive Love is how we give it, and there’s actually five specific “Love languages”. The way you value these five different languages, and the ones that are most meaningful to you, are the way you usually give love, and the way you would like to receive it back. This is all happening subconsciously, and to understand the different love languages and how it can help you understand your friend, partner, or whoever when they are giving you love, and you’ll know how to share love back to them.

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The five languages of love

Words of affirmation“Damn girl, that booty is looking tight!”. Okay, maybe not shallow comments like that, but people who value words of affirmation feel love when they hear that their partner appreciates them, is proud over them, loves them, needs them, loves the way they make them feel, things like that. They like to get acknowledged about the things they do that their partner loves, and they like to feel needed and appreciated for who they are, and what they do.

Acts of service – You’re coming home one day and your love one have prepared a beautiful dinner for the two of you. Candles on the table, and a glass of wine is welcoming you as you enter the door. People who value acts of service feels loved when they feel taken care off. When someone helps them out in times where they are struggling, or if someone takes time out of their busy schedule to do something for them. The value the feeling of feeling cared for.

Receiving gifts – Pretty self explanatory, right? For people who value the act of receiving gifts, they like to get surprised with flowers, small surprises, and other goodies at random times. Don’t take this as shallowness and people being materialistic. It’s the meaning behind the gifts that makes them feel loved and special. Someone they love saw something that made them think of them. A gift can be anything, form jewelry to a cute card to a knitted scarf and homemade brownies. It’s the thought and sincere meaning behind the gift that matters.

Quality time – Drop your phone to the floor, and do the shimmey. Okay no, do not do that, but give your loved one your full attention. This is what quality time really means. Listening to each other, doing fun activities together, try out new things together, and just giving each other their full attention. To take time out of your own life to spend time with a person who values quality time makes them feel loved and appreciated.

Physical touch – Massages, hugs, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, placing a hand on your shoulder, all these touchy feely things is what a person who values physical tough needs to feel loved. It doesn’t need to be in the most sexual of ways, it’s the small placements of an arm around a shoulder, or a spontaneous hug that matters.

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Why is it important to know what love language you value, and which language the people around you value? It’s important because you will understand everyone around you much better. If you’re a person who’s not the biggest fan of physical touch (ME!!!!), and someone starts to hod my hand in public, I would feel weirded out as fuck. Had the person known this, he might’ve not chosen to do that, and by me knowing that that’s the way he likes, and gives love, I would understand that the hand holding is coming from a good place, not a creepy type of situation.

Learn your love language, and start giving and receiving love, and strengthen your relationships with all the people in your life that matter the most.

Take the “Love Quiz” HERE, which helps to figure out which one of these languages you “speak”, and tell everyone you know to take it as well. It’s fun, and who doesn’t like a good quiz anyways?!