Speak love to me, baby

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me no more. Please, baby!! Don’t hurt me!!Love. It’s a big word filled with a ton of meanings we don’t fully comprehend. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, and it can be shared between lovers, friends, siblings, parents, pets, chocolate cake… I mean love can be everywhere! Some people flung around the L word all over the place, while to other people the word of Love is very sacred.

arranged-flowers-love-54320

Love is a bunch of feelings bundled up in a cute little package. The feelings of happiness, safety, appreciation, care, comfort, security, freedom, kindness, beauty, confidence – basically a shit ton of warm an fuzzy feelings that makes our endorphins go loco cray cray.

Love though, is extremely personal. Even though we all know what it’s about, it means completely different things to different people. My view of Love won’t be the same as the way you view Love. This is where things can get tricky. People get frustrated in relationships when they “don’t get the love they deserve”, when not knowing that the other person actually is showering them with all the love they can possibly give, but in their own specific way. Since our perceptions of Love and sharing it is different, we clash, and things doesn’t work out.

How we perceive Love is how we give it, and there’s actually five specific “Love languages”. The way you value these five different languages, and the ones that are most meaningful to you, are the way you usually give love, and the way you would like to receive it back. This is all happening subconsciously, and to understand the different love languages and how it can help you understand your friend, partner, or whoever when they are giving you love, and you’ll know how to share love back to them.

IMG_1552

The five languages of love

Words of affirmation – “Damn girl, that booty is looking tight!”. Okay, maybe not shallow comments like that, but people who value words of affirmation feel love when they hear that their partner appreciates them, is proud over them, loves them, needs them, loves the way they make them feel, things like that. They like to get acknowledged about the things they do that their partner loves, and they like to feel needed and appreciated for who they are, and what they do.

Acts of service – You’re coming home one day and your love one have prepared a beautiful dinner for the two of you. Candles on the table, and a glass of wine is welcoming you as you enter the door. People who value acts of service feels loved when they feel taken care off. When someone helps them out in times where they are struggling, or if someone takes time out of their busy schedule to do something for them. The value the feeling of feeling cared for.

Receiving gifts – Pretty self explanatory, right? For people who value the act of receiving gifts, they like to get surprised with flowers, small surprises, and other goodies at random times. Don’t take this as shallowness and people being materialistic. It’s the meaning behind the gifts that makes them feel loved and special. Someone they love saw something that made them think of them. A gift can be anything, form jewelry to a cute card to a knitted scarf and homemade brownies. It’s the thought and sincere meaning behind the gift that matters.

Quality time – Drop your phone to the floor, and do the shimmey. Okay no, do not do that, but give your loved one your full attention. This is what quality time really means. Listening to each other, doing fun activities together, try out new things together, and just giving each other their full attention. To take time out of your own life to spend time with a person who values quality time makes them feel loved and appreciated.

Physical touch – Massages, hugs, holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, placing a hand on your shoulder, all these touchy feely things is what a person who values physical tough needs to feel loved. It doesn’t need to be in the most sexual of ways, it’s the small placements of an arm around a shoulder, or a spontaneous hug that matters.

IMG_1055

Why is it important to know what love language you value, and which language the people around you value? It’s important because you will understand everyone around you much better. If you’re a person who’s not the biggest fan of physical touch (ME!!!!), and someone starts to hod my hand in public, I would feel weirded out as fuck. Had the person known this, he might’ve not chosen to do that, and by me knowing that that’s the way he likes, and gives love, I would understand that the hand holding is coming from a good place, not a creepy type of situation.

Learn your love language, and start giving and receiving love, and strengthen your relationships with all the people in your life that matter the most.

Take the “Love Quiz” HERE, which helps to figure out which one of these languages you “speak”, and tell everyone you know to take it as well. It’s fun, and who doesn’t like a good quiz anyways?!

Linnéa Kindstrom3 Comments

Stop having children!

Babies are popping out like fireworks on New Years eve. Planned or unplanned, we are animals by nature and making babies pop is what we do. Back in the days it was an obvious choice to get married and have babies. It wasn’t even a choice or a question. Your life was already set up in the way that you met a spouse, got married, got down and dirty and there you go. Back in the reeeeal days, like back to our ancestors and cave men times, reproduction was the only way of survival. Today we don’t need to reproduce at that rate. Today we are so many people that we’re practically falling of the earth. We are more educated, and we know that this massive population growth is one of the causes of poverty.

To many children are being born into poverty every second, and the lack of education and boundaries in these countries is causing a vicious cycle. The majority of these people will not get the same opportunities to proper education and health care which is causing major problems in our societies on a domestic and global scale. Of course we can donate money and build up the poor societies but then what? Without any education and proper jobs the cycle will continue. So what to do? Stop having babies.

monsoon

If you happen to be a couple of wealthy human beings who just put a ring on it and ready to make some babies, please consider adoption. I know, I always get the argument “but I want a child that’s mine, who shares my DNA”. I can understand that, but with the world we live in and with a society that has a different attitude towards marriage, and is far more educated about our global problems I think it’s selfish to be thinking this way. I know that reproduction is in our biological nature, but as I mentioned before, we are also far more educated now, and we don’t need reproduction for survival as we did when we were hunting down mammoths.  By adopting a child you are now a small part of a solution that will bring children out of poverty, educate them, let them live longer healthier successful lives and be able to contribute to greater things in our society.

Crowded-trains-India-Overpopulation

The most impact we can have on poverty and overpopulation is by stop the baby making machine and spend the same money we would on our “own DNA” kiddo, but on an already existing child who needs it, together with endless love, even more. When we get children we are putting people into society. The small chubby little things that we think are so cute and adorable are going to be the people who will lead our world in the future. It’s not just nursery rhymes and diaper changes you have to deal with, you are responsible to put a sane, healthy person into this world. To have a child is more of a responsibility than passing along your genes and making your parents shut up about finally becoming grandparents. The best thing we can do for our world and our future is to take care of, and educate the people that we already have.

oo

 

Linnéa KindstromLeave a comment