Self love. Love thy self. “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself”. We talk about self love all the time, it’s a topic that’s never going out of style. It’s one of the most important things in life, yet it’s the hardest. You are your best friend and your worst nightmare, all in one. You can cheer yourself up, and you can knock yourself down in the dumpster just as easy. We go head over heels for other people, we fall hardly deeply in love, and do all kinds of crazy things when the lovely Cupid hits us with his arrows. We never freak out like this over ourselves.
Humans are flock animals by nature, and it’s in our biology to seek belonging, approval, acceptance, love and appreciation. Already having this deep within our DNA, and with social media, where we constantly have access to comparing ourselves, and finding approval in likes, we are just spicing up the curry.
If you’re reading this with the expectation to find the answer to self love, I will have to tell you to stop reading right now, and go get yourself a banana. I do not have the answers or the remedies, and one of my goals for this years is to focus more on me and self love. We’re all in this together! (inserts high school musical cheesy song here)
We can all take small steps on the journey to the magical land of self love. You can for instance start every morning with looking into your eyes i the mirror, telling yourself how God damn beautiful you are, and smack yourself on the ass. I also believe that there’s plenty of outside factors that we need to take into consideration, when learning to love ourselves. A few of these things are coming right at ya in the list below.
Allowing how other people treat you – People. Aren’t those some fuckers we have too many off in this world? In our lifetime, we will encounter a lot of different people. Ass holes, fake people, amazing people, weird people. Boyfriends, girlfriends, bosses, friends. How we let other people treat us is a reflection of the respect and love we have for ourselves. If someone is constantly shitting on you, and making you feel down, you have to be aware of this, put your foot down, and throw the shit back at them. I believe that people come into our lives for a reason, to teach us something, to show us something. We just need to be present, and understand what the reason is. Allowing how other people treat you is totally up to you, and you need to learn when to speak up and make a change, when someone is treating you in a way that you’re not down for. As the title of this post says – You are yours before you can allow to be someone else’s.
Learn to say no – Don’t take on too much at once. It’s okay to say no. In your work life, or in your social life. Don’t feel the guilt of rejecting plans. If you need time for yourself to recharge and do whatever you need to do, do it! It’s okay (as long as you’re not being a complete ass and cancel plans right before, obviously). Being by yourself isn’t such a bad thing, even though society is telling us that it is. I mean, we have all see the devastation off Jim Carry being the Yes Man. Yes isn’t always a positive thing.
Knowing your flaws – We all have skeletons in the closet. Your past is a part of you, and if you need to deal with certain things to move on, do it. Rip that bandage right off. Let it sting for a moment, and then watch everything heel. Know your weaknesses. What makes you feel sad? What’s your bad habits? What’s your excuses? Negative traits? You need to take all this and grab it hard by the balls. Accept it, work with it, learn to love it, and grow from it. Nobody is perfect. Perfect, just as beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
Knowing your strengths – With weaknesses comes strengths! Don’t be ashamed to know, and own your strengths. Take pride in your talents! You are a unique piece of sweet ass, and you’ve got some unique things to offer. If you know that you are caring, embrace it! If you’re funny, crack up the jokes for everyone to hear them. You know how to whip it up in the kitchen? Keep on whippin until everyone’s mouths are drippin! (with saliva you know, because food is delicious)
Taking care of yourself – Yeeeeees! Like, yes, yes yeeees. This is something you have to do, my friends. Be healthy, make sure you’re feeling great. Eat healthy, exercise, get sunlight and fresh air every day. Do things that makes you happy, laugh, be silly, embrace your inner child! Don’t be to hard on yourself. It’s okay to not be on your A game every single day, and its important to take time for yourself, and doing what’s best for you. If you’re not feeling your best, you are never going to be the best for other people.
Help others – It is scientifically proven that when we help others, and make people happy, we become more happy and satisfied with ourselves. So, slap the ego, and the judging little grumpy man out of you, and start to see the opportunities where you can help someone else feel better. Just be a good person. Strive to spread happiness around you wherever you go. You are a great bundle of joy, and one flame starts a fire, so fire up happiness and helpfulness all over the place!
Embrace your sexuality – Sex, and sexuality, the MAJOR component of our entire existence, is also one of the most taboo subjects in the world. Sex is viewed as shameful, sinful, bad, evil. I mean, people have kinda been fucking up the world, so in a sense it might be evil…BUT, it’s a simple foundation to life. We all do it, and we all think about it. Explore yourself, don’t be ashamed to get freaky, and embracing what makes you tick. So many cultures around the world barely mentions sex to their children, and when they do it’s in the most negative way, telling them to be ashamed of their sexuality. Especially girls. This is causing extreme insecurities, low self esteem, unhealthy habits, body shaming, and lifelong psychological damages. Embracing your sexuality is a part of how you let other people treat you in relationships. If you don’t know your likes and dislikes, you can’t tell people what you need, making you get disrespected without even knowing it, leading you to not respecting yourself. It’s all a circle. So basically, get saucy with yourself, and embrace that you’re a hot, sexy piece of ass, and not ashamed to show it!
Take yourself out on a date – Hold you horses, you mean going out in public, doing things by myself?! Pretty much, yes. If you want to have lunch at that cute little place you’ve been dying to try, but no one’s available to join you, go by yourself! Treat yourself to a date. It is such a stigma around doing things by yourself. I used to hate going on lunch breaks when I was younger, starting out with my first jobs. I had to go eat alone, in public!! I felt like the whole world was staring a me, while a too large piece of extra hard baguette, would make it hard for me to chew properly. Today, I have no problem going to eat by myself. If I want to go see a movie in theatres, I’ll go by myself! I’m that weirdo, and I like it. Another great perk of doing things yourself, is that you’re more likely to talk to other people. Maybe you’ll meet the man of your dreams, or your future business partner. Life is full of awesome things when you step out of your comfort zone and do things by yourself. Also, after your self date, it doesn’t hurt to come home, set the mood with some candles and wine, and give yourself some sweet lovin!
Take social media breaks – Spending hours on social media, looking at other peoples “amazing” lives, does us more harm than good. Not only can it make you feel down, and lonely, but it’s a master of procrastination. It makes us loose our creativity, making us do useless shit, leading to feeling bad about ourselves. If you’re not able to completely delete your social media apps from your phone, make sure to turn off the notifications. You had a life before social media, and you are going to be perfectly fine without it for a few less hours every day.
Set goals – Make something happen. Start a project of any kind. Set deadlines, have something to do. Finish things, and get showered with the positive feelings it brings. Become proud over yourself! You have so much to bring to the world, so make sure the world gets to see it!
The journey of truly loving yourself, and being completely comfortable in your own skin is life long. We all need to know the importance we have in this world, and by loving ourselves, we are allowing ourselves to do the great things we are destined to do. Instead of focusing on finding a boyfriend or girlfriend, focus on finding YOU. This year is the year of me, you, and everyone else, on the personal level. Go us!!!